Ode to a Cigarette Ad
(1965)

So cool and modern, see him stand,
A pack of Woodbines in his hand,
Oh happy man - what can you lack
With such a handsome crushproof pack?

We others - fagless - stand aside;
We dare not swell our chests in pride;
We mortals have to stand and stare
While gorgeous women smooth your hair.

What would I give to join that band
In such a happy wonderland?
The ticket to this land of plenty
Is cheap at four-and-ten for twenty.

Oh man, who leads the life I crave,
I promise I will save and save
Until I'm rich and well-to-do
And smoke two packs a day, like you.

Some speak of cancer of the lung.
Their message, though, is said not sung
And what the ad-men have to say
They put in such a catchy way

The anti-fag campaign, you see,
Does not appeal to you and me
It isn't clever, or discreet
And won't appeal to our conceit.

To try and make me give up smokes.
Campaigner - use the lies and jokes
And flattery, which never cloys,
The advertising man employs.